THE BIG YAWN

We are entering the town of Ocala, Florida, undisputed capital of chain restaurants ... largely fast-food dumping grounds, embodying everything from Ihop Pancake Houses to proverbial McDonald's.

Red Lobster here is identified by its impresive free-standing building designed with innumerable windowed dining regions. Surroundings are executed in dark wood, nautically festooned and furnished with booths and bare tables and chairs. Napkins are of the flimsy paper variety. It represents one of Ocala's important seafood restaurants, if you judge by popularity and crowds vying for tables, especially weekends.

While a couple of items rise above the norm, most other dishes fail to reach it. If Red Lobster's fare were only half as seductive as their print advertising or TV commercials, things would be abundantly improved. Regrettably, kitchen inconsistencies when the restaurant gets overcrowded (which is most of the time), forces a "No Star" rating. Those who wish to try this place probably should go at godforsaken off hours when the kitchen is less taxed and demand to be accommodated less challenging.

Red Lobster doesn't take reservations, providing instead a waiting area equipped with a series of benches for the milling overflow throngs that sometimes can back-up to its vast parking lot.

Bypass the pedestrian appetizers, particularly the limp, rubbery fried calamari and vegetables, served quite tepid (probably from sitting under a heat-lamp). They fell short of non-frozen freshness and are so heavily salted they could have been labeled 'Stroke City Fried Calamari, etc.". Instead, console yourself with their 'Blue Ribbon' fragrant, flavor-filled hot basket cheddar-cheese biscuits. But beware, they are easy over-eating magnets.

An off-the-entrance lobster tank holds a scrawny looking batch of New England one pound crustaceans, each averaging in the neighborhood of $28 a piece.

The food can be passable, but essentially suffers from a lack of creative inspiration. Any one who comes here expecting an invigorating, bracing seafood meal will discover sparse pickings.

One menu lists Red Lobster specials, the other a sweeping array of offerings that includes soups, 14 seafood and vegetable appetizers, salads, sandwiches, shrimp, lobster, crab, beef steaks, chicken and combo entrees.

Among starters be forewarned that the Shrimp & Lobster Linguini Alfredo ought to be avoided. It's little more than a grim, sodden plate of flaccid pasta teased by a wispy garnish of the aforementioned seafood ingredients. On the flip side, When choosing a side-dish, be sure to target the trusty sparkling coleslaw, an incontrovertible cool, crunchy, flavor-packed, profusely portioned treat. A 9 ounce Rock lobster tail with drawn butter and baked potato weighted heavily with butter and sour cream is a much more judicious choice than gaunt 3 ounce regular tails.

Uneven service veers from very friendly and helpful to sullen and indifferent. Beer and other beverages are a pleasant shift from the formula kitchen presumably staffed by adroit defrosting technicians.

'No Stars'. Red Lobster, 3393 SW College Road, Ocala, Florida. Phone: 352-237-1291. Open daily for lunch and dinner. Specials average $16.99 to $21.99. Regular entrees $11.25 to $28.99. Accepts major credit cards. Reservations not accepted.

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